


A Knightly Occurrence

by London9Calling



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Cristiano Ronaldo doing things, Innuendo, Lots of Innuendo, Luhan having no idea how baby making works, M/M, Mpreg, ideals of manliness horribly exaggerated for comedic purposes (I’m sorry)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 00:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/London9Calling/pseuds/London9Calling
Summary: Luhan has one chance to become the best knight in the kingdom. Minseok wants someone to rub his feet.





	A Knightly Occurrence

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Let out the Baby round 2016/17. This is pure crack and bad (cough inappropriate) jokes, read at your own risk.

  
Luhan sat by the window, staring out at the courtyard. There were a few knights sparring, bored with their wooden dummies and wanting something more, even at the risk of injury. They all wanted something more, it was a common complaint going around the ranks nowadays. There hadn’t been a proper war in ages – and the number of dragons that needed to be slain were nil. Even trolls had moved on from the Kingdom of Ronaldo, finding better haunts elsewhere.  
  
It was getting boring being a knight, there was nothing to fight, hunt, or quest after. There was nothing to win great acclaim for, nothing for bards to write songs about. The other day Luhan had been so bored he had even gone as far as chasing a rabbit around with his sword, never hurting the creature but just wanting to act like he was doing something.  
  
And, Luhan thought sadly, chasing a rabbit was probably the most amazing thing he had done as a knight. He had the misfortune of joining the knightly ranks as everything went silent, peaceful and quiet. He hadn’t had one chance to prove he was the manliest knight in the kingdom, a title he was certain he would possess the moment he was allowed to do something exceedingly manly with his sword.  
  
He sighed. If he wasn’t so dedicated to being a knight of Ronaldo, he probably would have quit, maybe started a blacksmith shop somewhere, or even taken up shirt making or something equally manly. But no, he was a knight of Ronaldo, and even if the job was exceedingly boring at the moment he wouldn’t trade it for the world. But that didn’t stop him from letting out a final sigh of exasperation before he plodded towards his cot, ready to take his second nap of the day.  
  
  
  
  
  
Luhan dreamed of the rabbit that he had been chasing, with its fluffy tail and big eyes. It was a fast little thing, always one step ahead of him. Periodically it would turn around and give Luhan the strangest look before hopping further ahead. It was, by far, the most powerful foe Luhan had faced.  
  
He awoke to the sound of chatter, but not just any chatter – _excited chatter_. He sprung up from his cot and looked around the room, ignoring the way his hair was sticking up every which way. He spotted some of the other knights at the far end of the shared bedroom, their heads together as they rambled.  
  
“It should be me!”  
  
“No, Sir Robin, it should be me!”  
  
“My name is Junmyeon, I have no idea why you keep calling me Sir Robin.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter, now stop getting your hopes up because I am going to be the chosen one.” Chanyeol, a tall and clumsy oaf of a knight shoved Junmyeon.  
  
“What are you guys talking about?” Luhan asked, slowly approaching the group.  
  
“Nothing!” The knights answered in tandem. This was a great indication to Luhan that they were, in fact, talking about _something_.  
  
Luhan spotted a paper in Chanyeol’s hand. He lurched forward enough to get a peek at the parchment, his eyes going wide as he read.  
  
WIZARD TERRORIZES VILLAGE, ONLY THE BRAVEST KNIGHTS SHOULD APPLY TO SMITE THE EVIL DOER  
  
Bravest knights?! Well that was him! Luhan turned and ran out of the room, knowing that it was the king’s decision who would ultimately go to face the vile wizard. If he could make it to the king before the others, he could potentially win the right to represent the kingdom on this dangerous mission. And Luhan forever had an advantage when it came to finding the king before the other knights, because he happened to know _the King's secret_.  
  
Luhan rushed down the circular stairs, skipping a step at a time as he rushed from the knight's quarters. He ran down a long stone hallway, out into a courtyard, and then to the largest of the castle’s stone towers. It was the one no one went into because there was a common perception that it was haunted (but Luhan knew better, since he had done the manly thing and went to face the ghost, only to come face to face with the king).  
  
He pushed the heavy wooden door open and rushed up the stairs, once again taking them two at a time until he was at the top floor. The King screamed when Luhan bounded into the room, settling down when he realized who it was.  
  
“For the love of ball sports, please don't do that ever again!” King Ronaldo, replete in his favorite floral dress, held his manicured hands to his chest as he caught his breath. Luhan realized he must have caught him mid dress up, since the king only had lipstick on his bottom lip and his eyeliner wasn’t done.  
  
The King took a deep breath, then tugged at his dress. “I am so embarrassed you caught me like this, when this dress barely covers my...” the King gestured towards his groin area.  
  
“No, your highness, everything is very well covered.” Luhan never understood why the king always thought he was somehow exposed, everything he wore hung very loose and to the ground, including the dress.  
  
“Surely you must be mistaken,” King Ronaldo said, then added, “But thank you for being a loyal subject and protecting me from potential embarrassment with your kind, though false, words.”  
  
“I’m not lying, the dress covers everything. I mean there isn’t a single defining feature that wouldn’t be covered by your dress, your majesty.” Luhan did not like to be called a liar, even by the king.  
  
King Ronaldo cleared his throat. “Yes, well, what can I help you with?”  
  
“Oh, right!” Luhan had momentarily forgotten he had a reason for coming here. “I would like to be your representative in slaying the vile wizard that is terrorizing the villagers.” Luhan knelt down on one leg, bowing his head and raising his arm. “Please, your majesty, let me prove my loyalty and manliness with this task.”  
  
“Wizard attacking villagers?” The king mumbled, falling silent. Luhan looked up, witnessing the king’s confused expression. “Right, yes, um, of course you can! Just remember that no one can know about this tower and my collection of Kylie Jenner lipstick, okay.”  
  
“Thank you your highness, I will not disappoint you!” Luhan stood, a huge smile plastered on his face. “I will ride at once and vanquish the enemy of your people.”  
  
“Yes, great. Good luck.” The king waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. Luhan turned to go but was stopped by the king asking, “Real quick, do you think this lipstick is better or this one? I mean with this dress.”  
  
Luhan glanced between the red and the pink, thinking carefully. “The pink one.”  
  
“That’s what I thought too. Thanks.”  
  
Luhan left the tower with fire in his veins. It was time to finally prove his manliness once and for all and come back a legendary hero.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Luhan approached the village slowly, which wasn’t by design so much as by necessity. His faithful donkey Bandit was elderly and didn’t move very fast. When he reached the town square he witnessed the unthinkable – bolts of ice falling from the sky and pounding onto the cobblestone. Villagers ran and screamed in horror. It was vile magic, Luhan surmised, as Bandit fell asleep despite the ruckus.  
  
He dismounted his donkey just as the ice storm stopped. Luhan peered around, hoping to catch sight of the evil wizard. When he didn't see anything suspicious he made quick work of stabling Bandit and then making a tour of the village, collecting evidence needed to track down the evil doer.  
  
“Sometimes it’s ice, sometimes water, once it was frogs!” a peasant woman exclaimed when Luhan asked about the strange goings on.  
  
Another peasant told him it was unpredictable when the magic would come, and it was always in short but strong bursts.  
  
“Might be that suspicious fellow who lives in the forest, looks like a wizard type,” another peasant reported.  
  
Luhan carefully mulled over the clues as he sipped some chocolate milk, then fetched Bandit and decided to go into the forest to look for the wizard. It made sense, Luhan thought, a wizard would live somewhere so isolated yet pretty. Seriously the forest was really pretty, Luhan got distracted at least half a dozen times before he stumbled upon the small cottage.  
  
When he spotted the thatch roofed cottage, Luhan dismounted Bandit, leaving the elderly donkey to sleep. He held his shield up and tiptoed towards the cottage, ready to be smote with lightning or some other evil spell. Instead of lightning he was met with a great gust of wind, nearly knocking him over. It was a sure sign he had found the wizard’s lair!  
  
“Wizard, give yourself up now! I am a manly and loyal knight to the king and have come to smite you with my sword!” Luhan shouted, expecting the wizard to come out cowering in fear. When that didn’t happen he crept closer. One step, two steps, three steps…  
  
The front door to the cottage was thrown open and out marched a man with orange hair, his eyes wild as he stalked up to Luhan. The knight was taken by surprise and fell over in fright, in a very manly way of course.  
  
“You!” The man pointed a finger in Luhan’s face, “This is all your fault!”  
  
Luhan furrowed his brow. His fault? “I don’t know what you are talking about!”  
  
“You know every well what I am talking about you pervert!”  
  
Pervert?! Luhan was affronted. He glared at the smaller man, noticing his chubby cheeks and wide eyes. Wait, something was vaguely familiar about that face. He had seen it somewhere….  
  
“You grabbed me and look what happened! Are you going to take responsibility for it!” the man screeched.  
  
The rabbit! This man resembled the rabbit! How strange. Regardless, Luhan was not going to take being called a pervert lying down. He stood up, dusting himself off. “I have no idea what you are referring to, I have never met you in my life. Plus you are an evil wizard, why would I grab you if not to kill you!”  
  
“Great, wonderful. So half of their DNA is contributed by rock for brains over here,” the man muttered.  
  
“Look here, I am a loyal knight of Ronaldo and I have come to punish you for–”  
  
“I was the rabbit you were chasing the other day dumbass. Yes I’m a wizard, no I’m not an evil one. And yes, you did grab me at one point, which is exactly how this happened.” The man turned to the side, gesturing to his midsection.  
  
Luhan squinted, slowly dragging his gaze lower until he saw a bump protruding from the man’s abdomen. “Do you have some sort of tumor?”  
  
“No you moron! I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant with your baby because you thought it was a great idea to touch a wizard after they took a changing potion, which as everyone in the entire world knows is never a good thing because weird things like THIS happen!”  
  
“Wait, did you say you were the rabbit?” Luhan’s mouth felt dry.  
  
“Yes! Did you hear anything else I said?” The man huffed in frustration.  
  
So this orange haired wizard could change shape. Luhan had heard of wizard’s doing that before but he had never before met one that did. How fascinating. But wait, what else had he said. Luhan had touched him when he was in rabbit form and as everyone knows you shouldn’t do that because... _oh_.  
  
“Are you sure it’s mine?” Luhan asked, worry starting to dominate him.  
  
“Are you insinuating I go around getting groped by knights all the time?” The man raised an eyebrow.  
  
“No, no! That isn’t what I mean!” Luhan tried to backtrack. “Listen, I don't understand though. My mother told me babies come from storks and I don’t remember us petting a stork together so I fail to see how you are having my child.”  
  
Without warning a bolt of lightning shot from the man’s fingertip, almost hitting Luhan’s foot. The knight stumbled backwards, going wide eyed.  
  
“Ever since this happened my magic has been unpredictable, shooting all over the place including the village. If you are here to slay the evil doer, you better slay yourself, because now I am carrying your child I can’t control my magic!” The man’s face was flush with anger.  
  
“I…” Luhan considered that it was all his fault, and if so he felt terribly guilty. He never wanted to harm innocent villagers, nor have a baby with a crazy wizard. “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”  
  
The man laughed. Luhan momentarily thought he had a nice laugh.  
  
“I will maybe forgive you - on one condition. You man up and take responsibility, and you are at my beck and call until this baby is out of me.”  
  
Luhan felt dizzy. Wait hand and foot on an evil - err, maybe not evil - wizard? This entire journey was his one chance to prove his manliness to the king once and for all, and now he was being asked to not only let the wizard live but also become his servant?  
  
“It’s your baby too, remember,” the man pointed out.  
  
Ah, there was that. Luhan wouldn’t want to abandon his baby, even if it wasn’t planned. “O-okay,” Luhan stuttered, “I’ll stay.”  
  
“Great, now go inside and rub my feet, they need it.” The man gestured towards the door of the cottage.  
  
Luhan slinked towards the entrance, then stopped when the man did not follow. “Are you coming? I need to rub your feet.”  
  
“No, I am going to enjoy some fresh air. The feet are in the corner near the cauldron.”  
  
Luhan was nearly paralyzed with fear as he crept into the cottage, a space that was surprisingly clean and tidy and not at all full of frightening things. In the corner near the cauldron was a sleeping orange cat. Luhan bent down, noticing a small tag on the animal's neck that said ‘feet’. Luhan gingerly picked the feline up and began to pet it in massaging circles, finding some measure of happiness when it began to purr.  
  
So maybe this adventure wasn’t what it should be, but at least he found a cute cat.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Minseok. That was the wizard’s name. Luhan learned it on the first day as he made dinner. He ended up rather liking the name, enjoying the way it rolled off his tongue.  
  
In fact taking care of Minseok wasn’t bad at all. He made him food and fetched water. He gave him shoulder rubs and made sure Feet was fed. He ran out to the forest to get herbs Minseok craved at strange times, and did laundry when Minseok was too tired to use a clothes washing spell. Since the alternative daily routine would be sitting around waiting for adventure and glory that never came, Luhan found that he liked this arrangement very much.  
  
Minseok’s spur of the moment magic use, the entire reason Luhan had come looking for him, seemed to be cured as he rested. He was no longer raining ice down on unsuspecting villagers or sending a swarm of magical bees to attack the nearest fort. He seemed to find some kind of control over himself as he shouted out orders to Luhan and gobbled up the latest treat Luhan brought via a three mile trek in the rain.  
  
All in all, Luhan thought one night as he watched Minseok’s eyelids begin to droop, the situation was hardly as terrible as he thought it would be. Granted he had come all this way to slay an evil wizard and achieve renown as the manliness knight in the land, but playing servant to his baby’s daddy wasn’t half bad either. In fact it was rather cozy, with the larger bed than he had back in the barracks and the fluffy pillow that smelled like Minseok and Minseok being all cute and adorable and how he wanted to see Minseok naked a lot and–  
  
Eventually Luhan found himself sitting outside the cottage, Feet rubbing against his legs (as in the cat, not actual feet), his mind torn asunder by the realization he liked the strange wizard who ate like a hamster and said King Ronaldo was “a dick obsessed loser”. How had this happened? And what was the manliest knight in the land to do about it?  
  
“And what happens when the baby is born?” Luhan chewed his bottom lip. He had never been around a baby, didn’t even know what they liked to eat. Would he need to trek twice as long in the rain to feed Minseok and the baby? But wait, Minseok had only asked him to stay until the baby was born. That meant the wizard wasn’t expecting him to take care of the child.  
  
“But who will teach them how to be manly?” Luhan whispered, staring up at the stars.  
  
“You do realize I can hear you, and you do realize your notion of manliness is completely distorted and not healthy, right?”  
  
Luhan jumped, afraid of the disembodied voice. He stilled when he noticed Minseok peeking his head out of the cottage window.  
  
“Now get back inside, I need a sponge bath,” Minseok withdrew from the window, slamming the shutters closed.  
  
A sponge bath, Luhan’s favorite chore. The wayward knight rushed back into the cottage, excited for what was to come.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Luhan first heard of his supposed death the day he asked Minseok the fateful question, “What is love?”  
  
Minseok, sitting in his rocking chair mixing a potion, shrugged and answered, “I don’t know, I think it is a song I heard once.”  
  
“Oh, is it?” Luhan went back to stirring the stew he was making for Minseok’s lunch. He stared into the bubbling cauldron trying to remember if he had heard such a song. Would the song tell him if what he was feeling was indeed love?!  
  
 _If only he could remember the song._  
  
“If you want to hear a song the best place to go is to a bard,” Minseok remarked.  
  
How had the wizard known what he was thinking?! Was it true they were soul mates?!  
  
“You do realize you say everything you think out loud, right?” Minseok shook the potion bottle. “It’s kind of annoying sometimes.”  
  
“Sorry,” Luhan apologized. “If you feel well enough to be alone, I am going to find the nearest bard _for reasons._ ”  
  
“If you love me, you could just tell me?” Minseok suggested, putting the finished potion in a basket with the others.  
  
“But what is love?” Luhan countered. “I’m sorry Minseok, I need to know.”  
  
Luhan finished the stew and then left the cottage, cutting a winding path through the forest and towards the village. When he arrived in the settlement he wandered around for a bit, finally finding a bard near the blacksmiths shop.  
  
The bard gave him a funny look when Luhan approached.  
  
“Hello my good bard, I need you to play a song for me. Tell me, what is love?” Luhan waited as the bard narrowed his eyes and scanned Luhan up and down.  
  
“Who are you?” the bard asked.  
  
“Sir Luhan, a knight of Ronaldo!” Luhan introduced himself proudly.  
  
The bard paled, his eyes going wide as he backed up and pointed towards Luhan. “G-g-ghost!” he screamed, running away.  
  
“Love is a ghost? What a strange opening to a song.” Luhan was confused. He tried to follow the bard but every person he passed screamed and ran. Luhan considered that perhaps some mysterious illness had afflicted the villagers. As a knight he should probably find the source of the accursed illness and free the people from their affliction. As Minseok’s slave though he really needed to get back home, the wizard would definitely be hungry for cake by now.  
  
Luhan returned to the cottage with heavy steps, upset he still didn’t know what love was. When he entered the cottage he found Minseok sitting by the fire, working a knitting spell over a ball of yarn as Feet attempted to snag the material from him.  
  
“How’d it go?” the wizard asked, shooing his cat away with his foot.  
  
“Love is a ghost, I think. Or the village is cursed,” Luhan said slowly. He was still horribly confused about the entire situation.  
  
“Did they think you were a ghost?” Minseok asked, letting the ball of yarn drop onto his lap.  
  
“Did they?” Luhan wasn’t sure.  
  
“Ah, so it is true!” Minseok stood up. With his increased size, his stomach swollen, his gait had considerably slowed. “They think you are dead.”  
  
“What?!” Luhan squeaked. Dead? How could anyone think he was dead? He was very much alive.  
  
“I thought I heard a rumor on the wind. Seems that since you came to slay the evil wizard and the magic stopped, everyone figured you had vanquished the evil doer but died in the process,” Minseok explained. “Everyone thinks I killed you.”  
  
“That is ludicrous!” Luhan couldn't believe it. Everyone thought he was dead?! Even King Ronaldo?! But now what, how did he convince people he was alive?! “I have to tell them I am alive!”  
  
“If you want to.” Minseok shrugged. “I don’t know, being dead seems nice too. You will be way more famous as a knight who killed a wizard by sacrificing his own life than a knight who was stupid enough to touch a wizard in the middle of a changing spell and knock them up.”  
  
Minseok had a point. “So if I stay dead, I will be a legend?”  
  
Minseok nodded. “Plus then you could stay here with me and the baby!”  
  
“S-stay here?” Luhan wasn’t sure he had heard it right. “As in live here? With you? Co-habitat?!”  
  
“You love me, right?” Minseok countered, “And I have grown rather fond of your handsy sponge baths. Plus you have a nice ass. If you want to live here for...I don’t know, ever you could. I wouldn’t mind.”  
  
“Can I practice my jousting skills in the yard?” Luhan needed to clarify some things, this arrangement seemed too good too be true.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“What if a dragon appears, do you mind if I slay it?”  
  
“Of course, slay away.”  
  
“If I am required to leave for a short period of time to complete a quest that only a manly and brave knight such as myself can complete, will you get mad I wasn’t here to feed you and rub your feet?” Luhan narrowed his eyes.  
  
“I can live without you for a few days,” Minseok smiled.  
  
“If you get mad at me will you turn me into some nasty little creature?”  
  
“I can’t make any promises but if I do I will turn you back after a few days.”  
  
“Fine, deal, I’ll stay dead and live with you and the baby.” Luhan puffed his chest out, feeling proud that he had made a decision.  
  
“Great, because um, I think we have a problem.” Minseok let out a soft groan as he lowered himself into his rocking chair.  
  
“Problem, what problem?!” Was Minseok having the baby? What should he do, he hadn’t prepared for this. He hadn’t finished reading that book Minseok gave him, 101 ways not to annoy the wizard you knocked up while they gave birth. He had no idea how it worked!  
  
“I am hungry. So dinner, please?” Minseok rubbed a hand on his stomach, looking up at Luhan with wide eyes. He smiled, looking downright angelic.  
  
“Of course, dinner!” Luhan scurried off to cook, feeling unusually giddy. He had a home now, and he was a legendary knight. What a great day.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“This is a terrible day!” Luhan screamed, staring at Feet in a desperate attempt to get the feline to do something, anything that would be a comfort to him. The cat gave him a bored look then walked over to the corner of the room and curled up into a ball.  
  
All of the screaming woke Minseok up from his nap, the wizard sitting up and giving Luhan the evil eye. “What happened??”  
  
“Nothing,” Luhan tried to look calm as he continued frowning and tried to fend off manly tears.  
  
“What is it?” Minseok sighed, getting up out of bed and waddling over to his - er, baby’s daddy.  
  
“Really, nothing at all. Sorry I woke you up.” Luhan was terribly sorry, but about more than waking Minseok up. He was sorry most of all because he had been taking a walk through the forest when a stray flier blew his way. The flier advertised a joust. A knightly joust - the biggest knightly joust that had been held in the kingdom for generations. And he was dead so he couldn’t go.  
  
“Is it the joust?” Minseok asked, putting a hand on Luhan’s shoulder to comfort him.  
  
“How did you know?!”  
  
“You are holding a flier,” Minseok pointed to the half crumpled parchment in Luhan’s hand.  
  
“Oh,” Luhan set the flier aside. “I always wanted to take part in such an amazing joust, to prove myself to the king that I was the manliest knight of them all. But I can’t Minseok, because they think I am dead.”  
  
“Luhan, jousting doesn’t make you manlier. Really, it doesn’t. Also the king is a dick obsessed loser.” Minseok shrugged. When Luhan looked ready to cry he added, “But if it helps I can use my magic so you can go. You wouldn’t go as Luhan, per se, but as a new knight, a different identity. Then you could compete at least.”  
  
“You would do that for ME?” Luhan felt his heart swell with love for his er- baby’s daddy.  
  
“Of course I would, I love you.” Minseok leaned over and planted a kiss on Luhan’s cheek.  
  
“I love you too.” Luhan did love Minseok, even if he couldn’t exactly know what love was defined as. But this, this tug in his chest, he was certain this was love. Probably. Like 99.9% sure.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The day of the great joust saw the kingdom buzzing with excitement. Villagers near and far travelled to the great castle, excited to see the knights (who never really had anything to do) show off their jousting skills (which they had extensively practiced since, you know, nothing else to do).  
  
Luhan woke up early that morning, too excited to sleep. Minseok had mixed him a special potion the night prior and Luhan greedily gulped it down the moment he was awake. He wasn’t sure what exactly would happen, only that Minseok told him that he would need to sit very still and try not to make any sudden movements.  
  
A few minutes after drinking the potion Luhan felt funny, but he managed to follow Minseok’s instructions. When the pregnant wizard awoke, he plodded over to the knight and gave him an appreciative stare. “Very nice, very nice indeed.”  
  
“What is it? What do I look like?” Luhan knew it was some kind of changing position, but he wasn’t sure who he would change into. He was certain he was still a person, judging by the arms and legs, and he seemed to be a male judging by his er- man sword.  
  
“Not my type, but you will be a hit at the joust,” Minseok said with a gummy smile.  
  
It was enough for Luhan to get even more excited. He ran outside and donned his armor. Minseok further surprised him by bringing Feet out and with a wave of his hand turning the cat into a beautiful steed. “Now good luck!” Minseok beamed at Luhan as the knight mounted the cat -horse.  
  
It was the first time Luhan considered that maybe Minseok wasn’t coming with him. “Are you not coming to support me?”  
  
Minseok waved his hand in dismissal. “Nah, I can’t move very fast, plus I can watch it in my cauldron.”  
  
“Oh.” It was hard for Luhan to hide his disappointment.  
  
“I get excellent real time reception, way better than sitting in those smelly stands. Now remember, the potion doesn’t last all day. Oh, and try not to have too much contact with anyone or you may end up with some strange consequences.” Minseok cleared his throat, pointing to his protruding belly. “Changing potions and spells should never be taken lightly.”  
  
Oh, yeah, that would be bad, Luhan thought. “I will make you proud!”  
  
“I know you will.”  
  
Luhan had never gone into something feeling so sure of himself. He rode Feet to the castle, his armor gleaming in the sun. Villagers gazed at him appreciatively as he passed, confirming that he cut a dashing figure.  
  
He managed to arrive at the jousting arena before the sign ups were closed. He was scheduled to go fifth, and would move up the ranks as the matches played out. As he waited for his turn he caught the eye of many of his fellow knights, all of which gave him curious stares. His armor had changed and he was wearing his visor, there was nothing outwardly that would give his true identity away. To his old fellows he was a stranger, a dashing mystery knight there to compete.  
  
When Luhan’s turn arrived he readied himself, whispering words of encouragement to Feet as he readied his lance. He was to face Sir Chanyeol first, an imposing knight who excelled at the joust. The trumpets blared the start of the joust, and Luhan lowered his lance and charged forward. It was perhaps too easy, he thought, as his lance collided with Chanyeol’s middle, knocking the man off his steed.  
  
Luhan reached the end of the jousting arena to loud cheers. He had done it, he had won the joust, a beautiful hit. He maneuvered Feet out of the arena and waited for the next round. Luhan’s day was a repeat of beautiful wins until he faced his final opponent, which he also knocked down with little effort. He won the joust, a mystery knight proving himself to be the best knight with a long stick in the land.  
  
King Ronaldo watched the entire competition from a dais, looking handsome and amazing as usual. When Luhan won the King stood, ordering in a loud voice “Good knight, champion of the royal joust, reveal yourself!”  
  
Luhan was nervous about doing so, but he couldn’t deny his king. He dropped his lance and jimmied his helmet off, smiling brightly, hoping he looked as handsome as he felt.  
  
Gasps were heard from the stands as he revealed himself, shouts and noises of panic. Luhan looked around, confused. The King appeared ashen as though he had seen a….  
  
“By the devil it is the king!” One of the knights pointed at Luhan. “The king is the champion. Then this king must be an imposter!” The knight pointed at King Ronaldo sitting on the dais. “Our great king would never let his imposter win by having a bigger, more powerful stick. Honestly really nice, with a thick girth and round at the right places. Get the imposter king!”  
  
Luhan lifted up his gleaming armor, taking a peek into the shiny surface. He could make out this reflection, though it was slightly distorted, and what he saw was truly surprising. He looked exactly like King Ronaldo. Exactly.  
  
Shouts of “Capture the imposter king!” rang up from the stands, the crowd descending on the king’s dais. Luhan dropped his helmet, ready to try to explain what had happened to the masses, to let them know he wasn’t the king, he was in fact _dead Luhan_. He would have done all of it, really, clearing up the misunderstanding. Yet he couldn’t, not when he heard a loud scream of pain, a voice he recognized as Minseok’s carried on the wind.  
  
“The baby is coming!” Minseok shouted, his voice carried on the wind.  
  
Luhan spurred Feet into a gallop, leaving the jousting arena and the castle behind. He urged his cat-horse forward as fast as he could, panicked as Minseok’s cries continued to reach him. It was a mad dash through the village and into the forest, down the winding path and through the trees. Luhan jumped off of Feet, tumbling to the ground. He tore off his remaining armor and ran for the cottage, just as Minseok let out the loudest scream yet.  
  
When Luhan arrived inside the cottage he found Minseok lying on the bed. On top of his chest was a tiny human, all pink and crying and looking very new. Luhan blinked at the child, then Minseok, then the child. And then his feet carried him over to the wizard he loved and their baby. He leaned down and in an instant captured Minseok’s cheeks with his hands and planted a big kiss on his lips.  
  
“I love you,” he murmured, before looking at the tiny human that was so cute and precious and–  
  
“You moron!” Minseok shouted, being sure not to jostle the baby.  
  
“W-hat?” Luhan wasn’t sure what he had done to be called a moron.  
  
“You are still under the changing potion, you shouldn’t be kissing anyone!”  
  
Oh, there was that. “Sorry! I wasn’t – I – Dang it!” Luhan felt so stupid.  
  
“It’s ok, we can deal with it later. For now go take the potion by the cauldron and you will be back to normal,” Minseok instructed sleepily.  
  
A few minutes later Luhan was back to himself. He picked up their baby, rocking it in his arms as his heart swelled with joy. He peppered Minseok’s face with kisses, helped get him cleaned up (though surprisingly there was little to clean up, but Luhan wasn’t curious enough to ask for the details of how exactly their baby ended up outside of Minseok’s body, he assumed perhaps a wayward stork had helped). Luhan told Minseok he won the joust, and had his own face peppered with kisses. And then the new family laid down in bed, Luhan feeling for the first time in his life truly content.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“How come you turned me into the King?” Luhan asked for the umpteenth time.  
  
“I told you, it was funny.” Minseok shrugged. He was sitting in the rocking chair, rocking their baby to sleep. “Plus after you left they seem to have believed that he was the real king, so no harm done.”  
  
Luhan frowned. Minseok had explained the situation and his train of thought multiple times over the last few weeks but Luhan just couldn’t accept it. He felt so moody, so stuck on looking for something to annoy him. It was strange, very unlike him.  
  
And he wasn’t really annoyed with Minseok, he couldn’t be, he found. He loved the wizard too much to stay mad at him. It was just that his emotions were so whacky lately…  
  
“You are pregnant,” Minseok said quietly as he stood up and carried the baby to his cradle.  
  
“What?” Luhan looked at the wizard in confusion.  
  
“You were saying all your thoughts out loud again. Remember how you took the changing potion to compete in the joust and then kissed me? You are pregnant with my child,” Minseok explained.  
  
“P-pregnant!” Luhan looked down at his stomach.  
  
“Yep.” Minseok nodded.  
  
“But what will I do?!” Luhan was starting to panic.  
  
“Well, for starters you can sit back and let me take care of you. Oh, and um, maybe lay off the hardcore knightly training for a while?”  
  
“Oh, right.” Luhan leaned back into his own rocking chair. It would be okay, he realized, with Minseok here. He could do this. Plus wasn’t it only fair he have their second child?  
  
“So is this how all babies are made?” Luhan asked as Minseok began to give him a shoulder rub.  
  
“I am going to pretend like you didn’t ask me that,” Minseok answered, pressing hard on Luhan’s shoulders.  
  
Luhan relaxed. It was nice to have someone to love. At least he was 99.98999% it was nice to have someone to love. He never did find that song…


End file.
